Today, my son, you are a man
by Cat5
Summary: Join the celebrations of Alex's twenty-first birthday. Little plot, but much excitement, drunkeness and general mayhem.


Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story - Evy, Alex, Jonathon, Rick, Izzy and Ardeth - I can't claim as my own unfortunately, as they came from The Mummy first. I am just borrowing them for the purpose of this story.

In case you're curious about Alex's wife in this story, you can read another of my fictions - 'I Watched Her Sleep'. If you're not particularly bothered, then just accept that Alex eventually married Ardeth's daughter, called Caitlin.

I know the beginning's maybe not that interesting but stick with it. I promise it gets a lot better.

· Alex looked down the long table, smiling at his family and friends, and then surreptitiously tried to loosen his collar. His mother had insisted on everyone wearing formal evening dress, as, so she put it, her only child's twenty-first birthday would never occur again. So, he and all the men were slowly strangling in starched white shirts and tuxedos, while the women shimmered and giggled in bright, comfortable-looking dresses. His whole family was here - his mother and father, his uncle, and his wife. He smiled at Caitlin, who gave him an abstracted smile back, even as she listened to Alex's mother. Alex wondered at the mischievous look on both their faces, only hoping that his mother wasn't stooping low enough to tell stories of him as a baby.

Jonathon broke away from telling a somewhat enthusiastically told story, long enough to lift his drink and silently toast Alex, before turning back to one of Alex's female friends and continuing his story. Alex grinned. She was less than half Uncle John's age.

Jonathon finished his story with a flourish, and smiled at the young woman, who gave him a demure smile back. "Tell me," she said, leaning forwards, "Why isn't Alex's father-in-law here?"

"He was unavoidably detained" Jonathon explained smoothly. "He had to save the world. Again." As the young woman blinked in some confusion, Jonathon turned away from her, and towards Rick, who was sat on his other side. "It's a pity that Ardeth couldn't be here" he commented. They rarely saw Ardeth in England - only the once, in fact - when he'd brought the somewhat depressing news that people were trying to raise Imohtep from the dead. He should at least get to appreciate England without some all-powerful threat hanging over his head. Although, on reflection, England had little to offer except perpetual rain and gloom.

He wasn't quite sure why Ardeth couldn't come - he had gathered from the message that it really was something to do with saving the world, again. They had planned for Ardeth to come to England where they would celebrate Alex's birthday, before all of them returning to Egypt, so that they could also celebrate with the Med-jai. After all, it wasn't every day the leader's son-in-law turned twenty-one. Unfortunately, because of this unexplained threat, Ardeth had to remain in Egypt, so he was skipping the first part of the celebrations. Still, they'd be able to see him soon. He smiled at the thought. Ardeth was a good man, if over-prone to answering every problem with a sword.

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· Alex walked through the door of the house, squinting in the sudden gloom after the blazing sunshine outside. They'd been in Egypt for three days now, and while his mother and Caitlin had gone on ahead to join Ardeth, the men had stayed behind for a few days, so that Jonathon and Rick could "tie up some loose ends". What these were, Alex wasn't quite sure.

He walked through the house and into the sitting room, where his father and uncle were chatting with another man. Alex didn't recognise him for a moment, and then a memory from years ago flashed through his mind. "Izzy?" he said tentatively.

Izzy grinned at him. "O'Connell tells me you're turning twenty-one tomorrow."

"Yes, that's right."

Rick stepped forwards. "We decided that before we head out to the Med-jai, we should have a private celebration for you."

Jonathon grinned. "We're going to get gloriously drunk."

"Er … I enjoy drinking as much as the next man … " he glanced at the "next man" who was, either way he looked, Jonathon or Izzy "or maybe not quite that much, but is this such a good idea? I mean, we do have to meet the others tomorrow."

"They'll never know. We don't have to set off until after mid-day, by which time we'll be fully recovered. At the worst, we can always blame it on sun stroke."

Rick clapped his son on the shoulder. "C'mon. Let's go get changed."

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· "Good evening"

At the sound of the female voice Jonathon turned his attention away from the bevy of enraptured native beauties who (or so he thought) hung on his every word, to discover who the owner of the entrancing voice was.

"Evening" he said amiably, mouth working automatically even as his brain froze. The woman stood before him was beautiful enough to put the women sat behind into the shade by comparison. Tall, dark-haired and extremely attractive. Jonathon gave her a smooth smile, at last managing to shift into a more charming attitude. "Will you allow me to buy you a drink?"

If his manner was a little more extravagant than usual, his gait slightly unsteady, then who was to blame him? He was pleasantly inebriated, having imbibed a mild (for him) quantity of alcohol which was just enough to send a cheerful flush through his system

"Why not?" the woman agreed with a laugh, and accepting his arm, allowed him to walk her to the bar. Cradling his drink, Jonathon considered the good fortune that had brought them to this bar, and this companion. This was the third bar they had visited as they'd decided to educate Alex in the glorious tradition of "bar-crawling". Jonathon had a feeling, however, that he at least wouldn't be in a hurry to leave this bar.

He admired his companion, appreciating her fragile beauty which contrasted with the mischievous glint in her blue eyes and the sensuous twist of her lips. She lifted the drink he'd bought her, and gently clinked their glasses together. Taking a small sip, she moved closer, and placing the glass down on the bar twined the fingers of one hand in Jonathon's hair. "It's rather hot tonight" she commented.

"Hot? Oh. Yes. Very hot." He swallowed, then produced his most charming smile. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Alex's bemused face, and Izzy and Rick, both straining to keep from laughing. "Very hot indeed." He could smell the woman's perfume, an intoxicating, sensual smell. Unfortunately, as well as inspiring attraction, it made his nose itch, and he desperately wanted to sneeze. What with that, the woman's one hand playing in his hair, and the other sliding down his jaw, Jonathon was beginning to feel somewhat uncomfortable. After all, it was traditional for the man to make the first move. He didn't even know her name … and asking now lacked a certain sense of subtlety.

Then, just as Jonathon decided to cast caution to the wind (after all, why look a gift horse in the mouth), a bellow from the doorway made Jonathon jump and reflexively back away (he'd been caught in compromising positions once too many time now), which resulted in a handful of hair being left in the woman's grasp. He bellowed and clapped a hand to his head, even as he apprehensively eyed the man striding towards him. The people in the bar all crowded closer, anticipating some evening entertainment.

"Stay away from my wife" the man growled as he reached Jonathon.

"Your wife?!" He glanced at the nameless woman. "You didn't tell me you were married." He turned back to the man. "My good sir, not only did I not know that she was married, as she happened not to mention it while attempting to seduce me…" His face fell as the man gave another enraged bellow, and ducked adroitly as the man attempted to punch him. The punch hit one of the entertainment-seekers behind him who reeled away, staggering into a knot of people and knocking most of them over. One flailed, attempting to keep his balance and accidentally punching someone else in the stomach as he did so. The brawl spread outwards, and as it did so Jonathon gave one panicked look, and fled towards the exit. 

He reached it, lightly battered and mildly bruised, and paused in the doorway to catch his breath. As he did so he heard the sound of sultry laughter, and turned to see the woman leaning in the entrance way opposite him. "No hard feelings?" she asked, and when Jonathan dumbly shook her head she leant forwards and kissed him. "Maybe next time …? She asked after she'd broken off. Jonathon stared at her, gulping, and at that moment Rick, Izzy and Alex charged past him through the bar doorway. 

"Come on Jonathon" Rick yelled as he ran past.

The woman gave a satisfied nod. "Maybe next time then, Jonathon." Jonathon gave her a weak smile, then turned and ran after the others. The woman's laughter chased him down the street, followed by the woman's husband.

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· The people in the bar were loud, raucous laughter and shouted comments blending together into an ear-shattering din. In one corner, however, there was nothing but tense silence. Smoke drifted in wreaths, creating a blue haze that smothered the whole bar.

"Damn." Alex slammed his cards down onto the table in disgust. Jonathon glanced at him and, frowning, proceeded to lay his cards down as well. The third man around the table grinned, and stretched out his large, meaty hand, sweeping the coins from the centre into the pile before him. Alex glared at the huge mountain of coins in front of the man, the almost non-existent pile in front of him, and the very small pile in front of his uncle.

"That can't be right." He said, shaking his head. "I know we're not that bad."

The man laughed. "Tough luck, sonny. You want to play another game?"

"No," Alex said coldly, "I don't think we do. What I do want to know is how you keep winning."

The man squinted at him, straightening his broad shoulders. "You accusing me of cheating, sonny?"

"Yes," Alex said defiantly, "I think I am."

Jonathon stared, first at Alex, then at the man he was accusing, in disbelief. Firstly, there was

nothing wrong with cheating, if you could get away with it, and secondly, the man was at least double the size of both Alex and Jonathon put together. "Psst, Rick," he whispered urgently, trying to attract his brother-in-law's attention from a spirited debate with Izzy at the next table. 

Rick finally glanced over just as Alex and Jonathon's gambling opponent unfolded himself from the table, scowling at Alex, who was rising in response. Rick's eyebrows raised in alarm. Just as Alex's opponent swung a punch at him Jonathon and Rick caught hold of Alex, grasping him under an arm each, and hoisted him up into the air, ignoring his loud protestations, and marched him out of the bar. Behind them, they could hear the bellows of the drunken opponent, the shouts of the people he hit as he tried to chase after his vanishing opponent, and the beginnings of a full scale brawl.

Izzy grinned, and downing his drink neatly avoided the fighting mass and sauntered out the bar after his friends.

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· This bar was relatively quiet, and the celebrators had relaxed in drunken contentment. As Alex, Jonathon and Rick lounged on chairs, Izzy hoisted himself up. "Does anyone want another drink?"

There was chorused assent, and he staggered away with their orders ringing in his ears. He leant gratefully against the bar and ordered their drinks, waiting cheerfully for the barman to return.

"Hey, you."

Izzy turned round curiously, and the man who had tapped him on the shoulder punched him. As Izzy reeled back against the bar, the man scowled at him. Behind him stood five well-built men, obviously the man's drinking companions. "The next time my wife is outside enjoying the sun, you'd better fly that damned dirigible contraption of yours a hell of a lot higher. And if you don't keep her out of view of your telescope, I'm going to put it somewhere you can't use it. Understand me?"

Izzy swallowed. "Yes. Perfectly." He looked at the man, and his friends, who didn't seem inclined to take his words at face value. Before any of the men could react he turned and, running across the bar floor, reached the window and then dived head-first at the wooden shutters. They splintered and broke, allowing him to crash through them. Inside the bar the drinkers could hear a thud as Izzy hit the ground, and then muffled cursing, coupled with the sound of running feet.

Alex looked at the others. "What do you think that was about?"

Rick shrugged. "Don't know. Do you think this means we're going to have to buy our own drinks?"

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· There was a huge brawl going on in the bar. Fists whirled, people yelped, chairs shattered. There was a knot of furiously fighting people in the middle, little more than blurs, while a few enthusiastic men continued their own private fights on the fringes, occasionally being drawn into the middle as a punch thrown too forcefully (or drunkenly) hit the wrong person. The rest of the bar was practically deserted, apart from a few onlookers.

Rick and Jonathon leant against the bar, cheerfully watching the mayhem.

"Glad that's got nothing to do with us for a change".

"Yep" Jonathon agreed. He swirled his drink around in the glass, then downed it. Staring around the bar, he frowned. "Er, where's Alex?" Apart from themselves and Izzy everyone else in the bar was engaged in the fray. They both looked around, looked at each other, and then dived into the fight.

Izzy grinned, and downed half his drink.

Moments later, Alex wandered through the door of the bar, and, looking around in confusion, staggered towards Izzy. "Where's Dad and Uncle John?"

Izzy looked at Alex, looked at the fighting brawl where even now Rick and Jonathon had disappeared into the centre, then back at Alex. He shrugged. "Who knows? Have another drink. Happy Birthday." He raised his glass to toast Alex, then downed the rest of his drink.

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· Jonathon leant against the bar, staring morosely at his empty glass. "It's such a pity Ardeth isn't here."

"Yeah" Rick agreed, staring into his own glass, which was half full.

Alex leant against the bar, staring abstractedly at nothing. "Can he drink?" he asked vaguely.

"Everyone can drink. Besides, he needs some fun in his life. I mean, guarding the world, spending the whole of your life inhaling sand and being trodden on by camels. What kind of a life is that?"

"Trodden on?" Izzy looked quizzically at Jonathon. "I thought you were supposed to ride them."

Rick brightened. "We could go and fetch him."

Jonathon sighed, and carefully placed his glass on the bar. The bar man gave the four extremely inebriated drinkers a curious look, then shrugged and moved away.

"That'd mean camels. If we wanted to travel. Which we have to, if we're going to find Ardeth. I really hate camels. They smell, they bite, they spit, they tread on you… Besides, how do we find him? It's not like he has a permanent address. We'd have to get his attention" He stared at the bar for a moment longer, then smiled and looked up. "Ooh, I'll tell you what. If we just raised Imoh…"

"We don't need to" Rick cut him off. "Remember? He gave us directions so we could get there tomorrow. And why would we need camels, when we have Egypt's finest flying machine." He stretched his arm out grandly. "Izzy's dirigible."

Izzy nodded solemnly. "You're on." He began to heave himself upright, then paused and stared suspiciously at Rick. "As long…

"…as you don't get shot. Yes, I know." 

As the dirigible creaked and swayed, rising into the air under the somewhat shaky guidance of Izzy, Alex and Rick sank down onto the floor of the dirigible, each clutching a bottle. Jonathon stood at the front, gazing out into the night. He flung out his arm, which was clutching a bottle of drink, and proclaimed "Onwards, to Ardeth". The breeze ruffled the hair of this heroic figure.

Then the dirigible lurched, and Jonathon staggered forwards, letting go of his bottle of drink. It sailed over the side and plummeted to the earth below as Jonathon howled. There was the sound of shattering glass. "Sorry" he yelled downwards.

Looking at his watch Rick heaved himself up, until he was leaning against the side of the dirigible, and dragged his son up with the hand that wasn't currently engaged in grasping the bottle. Alex blinked sleepily, then brightened and drank from the bottle he was holding. Once he'd lowered it, Rick chinked his bottle against Alex's. "Today, my son, you are a man!" 

The dirigible sailed majestically onwards on its haphazard course into the night.

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· Rick woke slowly, the glare of the sun burning even through tightly closed eyes. He opened one, winced at the great white blur that was all he could see, and slowly opened the other one. He realised that he couldn't see anything because he was, in fact, lying on the sand, staring upwards. Carefully, cautiously, he sat up. Now he could see something. Sat in front of him, in eerie silence, was a line of Med-jai on horses. Old reflexes kicked in, and he jumped upwards and backwards, before finally remembering that the Med-jai had little reason to kill him now. Or had they?. He frowned - hadn't Jonathon said something about trying to raise Imohtep last night?

He looked carefully around. Ardeth was in the centre of the line, flanked by both Rick and Alex's wives, whom he'd somehow just mistaken for Med-jai. As the silence continued Rick glanced to his left, where he could see Izzy's dirigible bobbing gently in the morning breeze, and then to the right, where Alex was curled up in a small ball, Jonathon was still sleeping peacefully on his front, and Izzy was using Jonathon's back as a pillow. 

"Er, guys" he said cautiously, prodding Izzy with his foot. "Time to wake up now." None of them seemed to hear him. 

"My friend." The amusement in Ardeth's voice matched the smile that he was struggling to keep from appearing on his face.

"Uh… morning." Rick gave him a weak smile.

"So, dear" Evy asked, in an oh-so-casual voice. "How are you?"

"Oh, you know," Rick said as he dropped to his knees and then flopped backwards into the sand and closed his eyes, "I've had better days."

He could hear the sound of laughter from the assembled Med-jai. Rick moaned, then rolled over, burying his face in the sand.

The End


End file.
